Make Friends With Your Body and Change Your Life
As social media has grown over the years, the internet is a place of infinite information and resources. We’ve become adept as a species at taking advice from influencers and online gurus in blind faith, often without discerning whether it's right for us or not. It could be guidance on what to eat, how to manage physical or mental health or relationship advice. We sometimes end up confused and stuck, wondering why we go round in circles and end up in the same position we started in. This leads to frustration and endless searching for the next piece of advice or a new diet that will work for us.
Does this sound familiar? Have you been in this place before? Do you create new year's resolutions that never last? Why do we find ourselves unable to ‘stick’ to things? The answer lies in our body.
Your body is THE most important thing you own. Unfortunately, many of us aren’t taught as children how to be ‘embodied’. Or how to feel our feelings, understand our nervous system cues and how to listen to what our body needs. As a society, we spend so much time buzzing around like bees, constantly doing, jacked up on caffeine and not being present. We create untold amounts of stress for our vessel. This way of life causes us to be disconnected. In this state it’s hard for us to meet our needs.
One of the reasons new year's resolutions don’t stick, for example, is because they’re made from a disembodied place. The reason why that diet didn’t work is because the person you heard talking about how amazing it was, has a completely different body and needs to yours. We are each unique, with a one-of-a-kind DNA. We aren’t one size fits all. This is why living an embodied life is the KEY.
I reached a point on my healing journey where I couldn't overcome certain patterns. I couldn’t stick to affirmations, and I wasn’t able to quit my addictions. What became apparent was that I could use all the tools and advice I was given, but until I learned to feel, I would remain in a disembodied place and my nervous system would stay fried. You cannot shift out of patterns or create long lasting joy or freedom from this place. No tools will work properly without being in your body. Being disconnected from myself meant I wasn’t able to feel. Because I didn't feel safe. It was the missing link! I’d finally found the piece to the puzzle I needed!
Now the real work began. Getting honest with myself required a lot of emotional healing and to stop avoiding myself. I cried, A LOT. Years of repressed emotions were coming out of my body. And it was great. I was finally able to feel. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but I wasn’t running anymore. I stopped using coping mechanisms to dull the pain which helped me hear my needs. I began to unfreeze my nervous system using movement, breathwork and cold water therapy. I started to understand the aches and pains of my body to be part of the language it spoke. I felt a huge range of emotions and sensations in my body which, by becoming a witness and allowing all of them to be seen, brought me a deeper relationship with my body than I ever knew possible. This is when addictions became easier to break, because I was no longer using them as an excuse to avoid how I really felt. They were no longer coping mechanisms. I finally started to feel safe enough to be with myself.
Becoming embodied isn’t all doom and gloom. The discomfort is inevitable, but so is feeling joy and having your heart open like you’ve never experienced before. I started to feel genuinely happy once I got real with myself. This is possible for us all. So how do we start?
Breathing is one of the best embodiment tools and heart-openers I have found. Let's try! I invite you to place a hand on your heart and take three slow, deep belly breaths, in and out. Notice any sensations you feel in your body at this moment, without judging it. You might feel nothing. That’s okay. There is no right or wrong. You might feel a particular emotion come up, some discomfort, maybe complete relaxation. Just notice. Become the witness and let it be. That is it!
Breathing intentionally is one of the easiest ways to become present. As you continue on this path you will start to understand yourself more. This is the key to unlocking new layers of potential in your life. Breathing isn’t the only way to be embodied. There are a plethora of tools and support available. Find what feels right for you, and not because I or someone else told you, or because you think you should be doing it. Find a resonance. Something that feels good. If you can’t find what feels good, take stock of what doesn’t. This will eventually lead you to what you need.
Feeling is a magical gift and we all have the ability to feel. It might seem lost for some of us, due to trauma and experiences in life that affects us, but it can be changed. Becoming in tune with your emotions brings you closer to yourself. It takes you out of the mind where old narratives and stories live. It’s hard work, but the payoff is so worth it.
When you learn the wisdom of your body and witness uncomfortable emotions without aversion, you become resilient. You create safety within your nervous system. You start to heal from trauma. You meet yourself on a whole new level. The more embodied you become, the more long-lasting freedom and joy you can evoke into your life.
If you need help and support become more embodied then book a 1:1 session with me where we can safely explore the language of your body together.